leemartinbw

Survivor since 2002…

When I think about the journey I took with cancer, the one word that comes to me is “sacred”. That might seem odd. How could something that can kill you be sacred?

The day I got the news, in 2002, I was at work.” Ms Martin, this is Dr. ……..’s office, we have the results of your …..…you have DCIS Ductal Carcinoma In Situ…. you’ll need to………”

SILENCE, complete silence.,,,,they’re still talking but you hear NOTHING…….your hearing pretty much stops instantly after the word “carcinoma” is said. Because, don’t we all know….carcinoma = death?

I had to get out of there, I had to be by myself, I had to run!!! I went to the canyon, the one place that feeds my soul and for the first time in my life, I felt completely alone. I don’t mean alone like “there’s no one with you”, I mean, ALONE.

sacred • adjective   : holy, blessed, blest, hallowed, consecrated, sanctified.

The sacredness of cancer for me was THIS, this amazing moment where for the first time I believe I was awakened to “reality”. What I “got” in the core of my very being was that THIS IS MY LIFE. I may be a mother, I may have been a wife, I’m a daughter, a sister, I have deep close relationships with amazing people, but no one, not one of those people will walk in my shoes. These shoes fit ONLY me. And you know the best part, these shoes weren’t cancer, they were shoes of LIFE! Of LIVING! In that moment I was completely and totally FREE. I realized that my life, this amazing gift that has been given to me, was mine to either waste or to celebrate each and every day.

When you become conscious of this, colors become more vivid, the air smells amazing, laughter becomes precious and you begin to see “the sacred in the ordinary”. You see that each day you have a CHOICE and when you choose FOR YOURSELF, when you choose LIFE, you are finally tapped into “reality”….and it’s good, damn good!

P.S. Carcinoma DOES NOT = death……… it = LIFE!!!!!!! If you choose to see it that way!

STATUS OF MY CANCER: GONE….thanks to:

26 Radiation Treatments
No Tomaxifin
Regular Breast Exams
Courage & Beauty Of My Children
Amazing Love From Friends And Family
Rose Petals On My Doorstep
Prayers
Twisted Humor
And Faith

Share

Leave a Reply